July 27, 2011
Blog 8 Changes
Things are never as easy as we think; we plan one thing and something else happens. I found myself writing a blog last week in the worst possible way, out of anger. As everyone knows; doing things out of anger leads to nothing but more anger and frustration. I had applied for a successor dog from the same school that I have been with for over 5 years. I received a call telling me that my application was declined for some reason that is still not clear to me and the letter or information that was sent about the rejection of my application had nothing to do with what was said on the phone. I was informed that I could challenge the decision. All I would need to do is have my doctor explain more in detail, which is okay, as long as I knew what the doctor was supposed to write.
Out of that anger I managed to injure my foot by pushing myself to train, not smart, but out of anger. I was lucky that my doctor was still in the office at 7pm; go figure what are the chances of that! I went to see her the next day; she told me that I was lucky that no real damage was done. 14 days no heavy walking and a couple of treatments of laser I will be okay. So 14 days of no walking versus 1year going back and forth to the hospital every week.
So I come to the hard part, after 2 months, I am almost right back to where I was. The hardest thing to deal with; is on Thursday 28th 2011, 2 months since my nephew passed away and Jagger passed away on the 1st. For most people, one death is hard to deal with, two is even harder, then with the rejection for a new dog and a foot injury seems to be a continuous track of hardship and hurt and you would be right. I can’t help but think of when I talk of one event, the emotions of the other come into play. The loss of two family members so close together is hard to deal with.
I need to point out a few things during these last couple of months that were good. I have a wonderful loving and caring wife and family. Through things in our past that I finally dealt with I grew closer to my brothers and sisters. I strengthened my bonds with my close friends and made some new ones.
I placed myself in a time of deep reflection about getting another dog. I have decided to look at other schools closer to home and at a different breed, so as not to compare the new dog to Jagger. I have started looking but will wait for a few months; there are a few things that I need to take care of. 1) Heal my foot, my spirit; I have to make sure that I am in a good place emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 2) I want to look through the different schools and read all the applications and make sure that they are done right and I am not rushed or stressed to get them done. 3) I need to heal up for the upcoming semester at University and be ready for that, so the application will probably not be done until the end of November.
4) I feel like I am forgetting something really important oh “yah!” I have to be healed for mine and Arlene’s wedding Oct 1 2011. If there is one person in this world that deserves to have something just for her on a special day it’s my Arlene and in comparison to giving her one day to have something special for her and I, is nothing to what she has done for me in my life.
5) I have changed my profile page to a happier time with Jagger and I in Rhode Island on the beach. If you want to make changes in your life, the first thing you need to change is where you are in yourself. The first thing you learn in survival school is when you are too tired to go on, it is time to set up camp were you are and once you have the strength, you push on. The first thing I need to do is change my focus. Once that happens there is no doubt that your next “Adventure around the corner” is coming soon.